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Horoscopes by Twyla: April Edition

Have I used the old “Mercury Is In Retrograde” excuse for why I’m late with horoscopes yet? If so, I’m using it again! April is pretty slow for most of us until mid-month anyways…

April is presenting you with a big mix of every emotion, Aries! You’ll definitely have a few bummer moments, but the majority of your vibes this month are positive, so just go with the flow. Pay attention to some sneaky things going on in your social circle and use your amazing willpower to avoid gossip and cattiness. If you’re single, there’s a potential new crush on the horizon which is sure to add to the list of good things goin’ down in April!

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes this month, Taurus! Most of them are in motion already, so there shouldn’t be too many surprises and you may now find yourself feeling more financially stable! This doesn’t mean you can become sloppy with your work ethic — you need to keep your eye on the prize and keep up the hard work. Your time to shine will come soon enough. Lay low for a few days after the 25th. Don’t make any risky financial moves. In your personal life, follow the advice of your closest friends. This is an important period for your ideas to become a reality if you move ahead with charm and clarity.

April may have come in like a lion, Gemini, but it’s definitely going to go out like a lamb. Things are going to be a breeze for you this month. You’ll be able to focus on some things you’ve been neglecting lately, like your romantic life. If you have a partner, take some time to strengthen that existing relationship. If you’re single and looking, sign up for a creative class — showing off your artistic abilities will have potential suitors sliding into your DM’s in no time. If you’re single and NOT looking, well then you just continue doing whatever the hell you want, it’s all good this month!

It’s a good time to get out there and meet people, Cancer! You’re feeling strong in your career, and this extra boost of confidence lets you put work on the backburner and focus on your personal life for a while. Changing the way you think about certain things will allow you to meet new people and get new perspectives!

You’re hungry for learning this month, Leo! That could mean heading to the library for some good books, picking the brain of someone you admire or signing up for a class of some sort. A friend is in need of some helpful input, and you’re the perfect person to lend an ear. Romance opportunities arise mid-month, but don’t hit on the friend that is just looking for someone to talk to — that’s rude.

Forget about friends, romance, or any sort of social life this month, Virgo. You need to focus on money and your career. Be wary around the 10th if someone comes around with an “investment opportunity” of some sort. You can take a break from work towards the last few days of the month, but you should focus on immediate family — there are some stressy situations happening and they need you to diffuse the tension. Next month will be more fun for you probably.

You’ll be in the right place at the right time, as usual, Libra, and your natural charm will take chance happenings to the next level, especially if sex is involved. The last half of the month is going to bring some big changes that will 100% affect your future — keep a clear head so you can get all the facts. Remember that great idea you had earlier in the year but haven’t had time to work on? Now is your chance.

Scorpio, you little devil. You’re full of extra energy this month, but not doing so great in the extra money area, which is unfortunate as you’re going to be tempted to overspend on something you think you need. Put your credit card away and think about this item until May — if you still want it by then, have at ‘er. Use the extra energy I mentioned earlier on making your working conditions better. You have the knowledge & authority to make things better for everyone.

The only thing that is successfully blooming so far this spring is you, Sagittarius. Your social life is in full swing, and you’re feeling very creative, so why not have a party? Like a food party where your guests will come over and swoon over your cute table settings and the delicious Shakshuka you made? (I’m really into Shakshuka these days so please invite me to this party!) Book a full exam with a doctor and listen to what they tell you – do this by the 28th of the month.

What’s up with your finances, Capricorn? Everything else in your life is working out, but there’s some shadowy shit in your money section. Did you sign up for some monthly subscription stuff that you actually can’t afford? Cancel it. Check your credit card statements for double charges or things you don’t recall purchasing. Something weird is going on, but I can’t tell you much more other than that because I’m not a real astrologer so, I don’t know, but I think you should look into it.

Still searching for your “soulmate”, Aquarius? Wondering if your current partner is “the One”? I wish I had some news to tell you about your love life, but I don’t. I just didn’t want to start your horoscope off talking about the boring-ass month you’re about to have. Not much going on at all. HOWEVER! Community energy is strong, so maybe use all that free time you’re gonna have to volunteer for an upcoming event in your neighbourhood? Sled Island? Lilac Fest? I don’t know. You know?

April is full of opportunities for you, Pisces, but keep in mind if it’s too good to be true, it probably is. There will be some major changes in your life, but you just need to take a deep breath and think about things rationally. I know, I know: easier said than done, but remember that nothing is personal and, even if it is, you’re smarter and cuter than everyone involved so, whatever.