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Vern Horoscopes by Twyla: Halloween

Find out what your horoscope has to say about your Halloween costume choice.

Libra Sept 23 – Oct 22
Libra and those scales. The scales represent balance and are also a symbol of
justice. The most balanced and just person I can think of is Olivia Benson, from Law
& Order SVU. She has a degree in Criminal Justice. Go as her. Or you could go as
Judge Judy and lip people off all night.

Scorpio Oct 23 – Nov 21
Oooh, Scorpio! Intense and secretive! Be a detective or a spy!
Go as Mata Hari! She was an exotic dancer/high-class prostitute/spy who would
sleep with people to get the details she wanted! Her outfits were pretty good!

Sagittarius Nov 22 – Dec 22
An obvious Sagittarius choice would be to dress up a half-horse/half- man because
your symbol is the archer or centaur. My favourite centaur in history is Toot from
the old Hercules cartoon. Not Newt, the annoying one, but his little buddy who
would just blast his flute in the face of whoever was pissing him off. So dye your hair
green, grab a couple flutes, and you’re good to go! Easy!

Capricorn Dec 23 – Jan 19
Omg I wish I was a Capricorn this year so I could go as Daisy the Goat! Your logo is a
goat kind of, so you should go as Daisy the Blind Goat that went missing from
FARRM but then was returned! A costume with a happy ending!

Aquarius Jan 20 – Feb 18
Did you know that Aquarius people are often really good at dancing? You know who
else is really good at dancing? That little dancing hotdog meme that was everywhere
this year. With the headphones, you know? Go as him. Flesh toned body suit, paint a
strip of yellow and a strip of red on the front, get a little bun jacket of some sort, put
on your headphones (bonus if they’re green) and dance the night away!

Pisces Feb 19 – Mar 20
Water sign! Fish logo! You could be a million things like fish, mermaids, sea
creatures…but those are all too blah. However, this article was due yesterday and I
have to send it in now, so I don’t have much else for you. Good thing Pisces are very
creative! Have fun!

Aries Mar 21 – April 19
Aries, you’re energetic, impulsive and a little rebellious – just like a little kid. I think
you should 100% be Junior from Problem Child. Like when he dresses up as the
devil with the bow tie and his little moustache and goatee. Please please please do
this, even if you’re not an Aries. Everyone should go as Junior from Problem Child.

Taurus April 20 – May 20
Earthy and organized, kind and thoughtful. Go as the guy that delivers the fresh
fruit and vegetable boxes to my neighbour. He’s like a hippy farmer and he’s so
friendly and nice and when he leaves, the whole hallway and elevator smells
like patchouli.

Gemini May 21 – June 20
If you want to play up the “Twin” thing, you could find another Gemini and go as
Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. (start not-brushing your hair now.) Also, Gemini’s love
glitter and diamonds so you could go that route, too.

Cancer June 21 – July 22
Nurturer! Sexy Nurse! Easy.

Leo July 23 – Aug 22
Leo’s are really into social media, so you should paint that dog filter from Snapchat
right onto your face. If you’re a Leo that doesn’t like social media, your traits also
include “pompous and patronizing” so you could be Donald Trump? I think the
dogface is a better idea though.

Virgo Aug 23 – Sept 22
It can be difficult to find a costume to suit an Earth signs personality, so I suggest
skipping Halloween and going for a nice dinner instead!

By Twyla Yacyshyn

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