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7 Ways to Actually Get Shut-Eye During Stampede

Stampede is a great time to get caught up on beauty rest — said no one ever. Between bands, BBQs and general late nights in the tents, squeezing in a solid sleep is probably not all that realistic. If you do happen to have a door to your office, lucky you! Nap time will be a breeze. For everyone else who’s already dreading over-caffeinated days in cubicles or co-working spaces, stock up on Visine and follow these sneaky tips on getting a little shut eye.

The Good Ol’ Sick Room

If you live the 9 to 5 life weekdays, chances are good your office has a sick room with a couch that is perfect for catching a quick 30-minute power nap. Please note, a hearty immune system is required.

Skip the Shower

Showering during Stampede is always advisable, but if that 20 extra minutes is going to make all the difference, go for the dry shampoo. In the most desperate scenario, baby powder will do the trick. Depending on the kind of night you had, don’t be afraid to throw an air freshener around your neck.

Sleep in Your Car

Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it. Find that dark and quiet parking garage and hit the back seat for a snooze during your lunch break. Paying for downtown parking has never been more justifiable.

Snickers the Cat

If your moral compass is slightly busted, crafting a story about an imaginary pet that needs to be fed, let out, or taken home from the veterinarian clinic can work wonders for getting out of work early. Word to the wise, if you’re going to fully invest in the story, you’ll need to have a few cat photos on your phone.

Asleep on the Seat

In your most delirious of states, it’s actually possible to fall asleep on the can and have a good 15 minute cat nap. Leave this as a last resort and set an alarm. Nobody wants to be found on the royal throne Elvis style.

The Sick Card

You’ll need to play up your pretend illness well in advance to pull this off during Stampede. Start complaining of aches and pains days before; blowing your nose obnoxiously and cough loudly while feigning great discomfort. Most importantly, make sure you tell at least one colleague in advance that you’re coming down with something nasty. Foreshadowing can be a beautiful thing.

Legit Take the Day Off!

So obvious but so overlooked. If you know you have a big one planned, then use that vacation day and enjoy a good sleep-in. You’re gonna thank yourself.

By Vern Staff